Right.

I'm not going anywhere.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 8:11 PM [ comment.]

For fuck's sake get your shit together John.

I will write. I will work on the site... I will journal... Soon.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 7:57 PM [ comment.]

"Do you really want a monster... taking over..."

So the past week has been eventful...

I am not speaking to Nykanen, one of my roomates, anymore. There was a stupid altercation one morning at work. Now that in itself isn't the issue now. Even though at that instant I almost layed him out... Luckily I am unable to sustain anger for a long time... I am just sick of him in general. I am just sick of his condescending bullshit. Since I have been giving him the "silent treatment" as I have been informed... My self-esteem has gone through the roof. No more specific or grammatical corrections. No more being embarrassed in public.

So, we'll see where this goes. I am not really mad at him... just done with him.

In other news... After this morning... I think that my relationship with Margarita... both friend and otherwise, has reached an impasse. It dawned on me that we are never going to be together... Still sorting out how that makes me feel about her.

Never is a really strong word when you think about it.

There were alot of things that I told her this past week that made me realize that I was admitting it to myself at the same time I was saying it...

***

Why do I get the feeling that everyone is turning on me all of a sudden? Or is this all just a much needed change of scenery? Some of my friends are really writing themselves out of my life with how they have been treating me lately. Attacking my integrity and such. One of my pet peeves is being dismissed and looked down upon...

I dunno. I am feeling pulled into a few different directions at this point.

One, I just want to be alone. I just want to hibernate in my life and let some time pass. The other part wants me to go out and meet new people, do some different things... How many times have I wanted this in the past?

I think I may go to some poetry readings soon. Might put my stuff out there and see what happens. Writing is something that I haven't been doing anything with lately, and I am overflowing with inspiration (mostly negative)...

The trap laid
both lying here with our desires
Using eachother
for what we have and lack
what will the bait be today?
who will be caught?

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 10:37 PM [ comment.]

Right.

It has been a while since I have posted... Where have I been?

Pretty much busy working... Nothing interesting save the 8 stitches I decided to get a week or so ago. I was prying on a window above me and the crowbar slipped and hit me right about my left eye. It's all fine and dandy now - Took them out last night and there isn't much of a scar. Could always say it was "Me kicking jeffro's ass" (Jeff being someone at work that... that I don't see eye to eye with sometimes)

Other than that I have been playing STAR WARS GALAXIES. Not really much to say about that except that it is CRACK and I like it.

Not much else is going on. I am happy with my computer upgrades (Although my hard drive died *under warranty though* and I had to buy a new one.) Hopefully I will put a new computer page up soon... That may wait until I get the video card that I WANT, instead of the one I had to settle for (having to pay for a new HD)

So that's that. I will try to write more soon.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 9:39 PM [ comment.]