SPARTA was excellent yet again. This time I got to meet the band - they were really nice, really cool. Pretty down to earth. I liked the fact that they were asking questions as well. Oh, and they signed my cd...

I dropped my webpage address to them... so if you guys read this...

Thanks for taking the time to meet and talk with me, and thank you for the wonderful show.

:)

... i really needed that.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 11:51 PM [ comment.]

What a relief. Yesterday I got tickets for both UNDERWORLD (w00t!) and SPARTA. Both are at clutch cargo's in Pontiac, Michigan... On October 15th, and September 30th (Next Monday). $96.00 for 2 tickets to each show. Not bad. The really cool thing is that I GET TO MEET SPARTA. I am on their "Street Team" - I pass out promo stuff (stickers, cds, etc.) I cannot wait to meet them. I really love their music.

My favorite band in the world is Underworld, though. I was really worried that the concert would be sold out... I would have cried if I was not able to get tickets (They only tour every 3-4 years in the USA) Wish I could meet them. Last time I saw them in 1990 for their "Beaucoup Fish" tour... wow I don't even have the words. I was with... HER, at the time... I remember the visuals... and overall it was a perfect night. I have all of their albums (the ones I could get ahold of). Their new album came out today! It is called "A hundred days off"



I suggest EVERYONE go out and get it. Or at least get it from me and then go buy your own. I have had the cd *ahem* for the past month so I am going to pick it up on friday when I get paid. They are my favorite artist ever... So I have to support them. I was a bit put off at first listen (As usual) but damn.... i think overall it may be one of their best albums.

All of the songs are good. "Sola Sistem" (Track 4) I think is my current favorite... It's my theme song.

My iceburg naked, my blackhole numbers, my devious nature, make it go away.... (Not sure if that is really right, but it sounds great on the song)

"Two Months Off" (Track 2) - Great upbeat reflective song.

"Dinosaur Adventure 3d" (Track 8) - Wow.

So, pick it up dammit. Or at least download it and then go buy it....

*****

Other than that... school is going great. As a matter of fact, really really really well. It is alot of fun, and I am in with some good guys for my study group. Hawkeye, Hump, Axe, and Six-String... Apparently I have been dubbed WALLSIDE... boooo.

*****

My love life still has no pulse.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 10:38 PM [ comment.]

I somewhat redid the layout of my page a few times... I like the way that this one turned out so I am keeping it.

Alright.

I have been keeping this journal for over 2 years now... And just like my life, there have been up times, and down times. This is definately a down time.

I am not depressed (Well, no more than usual).

...

My love life is non-existant right now. Everyone who was on the list is now off. Every girl I am even remotely interested in is taken, and I am not meeting anyone new. So there goes that. For now anyways. The only girl I have feelings for is Margarita, and I have pretty much accepted the fact that it is never going to happen. So, she is off the list. As much as I would like a girlfriend... it's just not happening. It would be nice to have another side to my life that isn't work or school. I guess... besides that there isn't much else going on in my life right now.

So then there is school I love it. I love my classes... We have a kind of study group that has formed... 5 of us. So far I am doing okay (B+ and B on my first two quizzes). The only downside is that right now this whole program seems a bit overwhelming. I just learned that it is going to take me another year and a half AT LEAST to get through the paramedic program at HFCC. Which is fine. Right now things are just over my head a bit. I think that is because I need to learn more, and practice the skills I am learning until they are second nature.

So, this semester to get my EMT-b license... then a semester or two (winter/spring) of prerequisite classes... then 40 weeks for the paramedic program. That would put me somewhere in early 2004 to start a career. Hopefully after that I could get hired into a fire academy somewhere... Or else it is another year of class there. That would put me at early 2005. It is just crazy to think like that.

I just have to start small and stick with it. Right now, EMT-b is my life... And I am going to devote alot to succeeding at it.

The only problem with that is I am not sure how much more of my job that I can take. Sure, the money is good and all.... Real good. However this whole 6 days a week at 6am everyday is starting to strain a bit. I go to school 3 nights a week. Sunday is pretty much taken so I only have 3 free nights a week. That is not good. The other thing is I am not on a set schedule so I have been running late to class a few times already. Now, if I work at TAG for the next year and a half... I am sure that this is going to lead to some problems.

I just don't know. I really want to do this... but I think that the stress of the job is going to start getting to me around winter. The job itself sucks sometimes, complicated with colder (wetter) weather... I just don't know. I make enough money to support myself... and to pay for school... Arrrgghhh. I am torn. When I get my EMT-b license in Jaunuary, I may look for another job. One that may pay less, but will be less stressful. Maybe as a security guard at the casinos, or something.

... *sigh*

I am going to try and get SPARTA tickets for the 30th of this month tomorrow, and UNDERWORLD tickets for October 15th. I think these events might help me feel better if I actually get to go out and do something for once. The new UNDERWORLD cd comes out Tuesday... and even though I have had it for the past month... shhhhh. I want to support my favorite band.

...

I just want... scratch that, need... something else.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 11:44 PM [ comment.]

Waves crashing
and the beach starts over
So called
wiping the slate clean.
Fire burns
and all of it's destruction
leads to creation
Thousands of
little black angels
Flying away...
waiting to fall apart.
I am sand and ash.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 12:21 PM [ comment.]

In all of the days
that you have forgotten
I have never
forgotten you.
I will make you remember...
one day.
You will know,
that I died for what was
And lived-
for what could have been.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 1:47 PM [ comment.]

"One of the greatest minds of the 21st century and I'm stuck here installing fucking windows."

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 11:21 PM [ comment.]

my beautiful antidote
my tragic poison
you are your name to me
because i'm laying here
drunk on you
keeping you at an arm's length
but still-
crossing the line again.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 11:49 AM [ comment.]

9/11

song of the moment "In the Light" by Joseph Arthur

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 11:26 PM [ comment.]

Just took an online IQ test over at EMODE.com... Hey! I was bored! Here is my result.


ULTIMATE IQ TEST

Congratulations, john!
Your IQ score is 135

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Emode's Ultimate IQ test.

The even better news is that at Emode, we've taken your IQ test one step further. During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We were able to analyze how you did on each set of those questions, which allows us to shed light on the way your brain uniquely functions.

At the same time, we compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is an Insightful Linguist.

The first thing we can tell you about that is you have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. But that's just scratching the surface.

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 8:46 PM [ comment.]

in the day
haunted by your memory
my nights
dreams can only be solemn
i can't escape-
even heaven
would be hell without you

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 2:25 PM [ comment.]

Interesting weekend...

Friday - Got paid. Spent some money. :) Bought some extra books for school (Medical dictionary, two anatomy books)

Saturday - Slept in... Got my hair cut. I got my truck washed and cleaned it out as well. Later on I bartended at a "Thank you" party for my mom. That night I went to ROUGE DAYS. It is the yearly city fair/carnival/festival or whatever in the city where I grew up... River Rouge, Michigan. Bear in mind that I really haven't been back to the city in YEARS. I moved out in 1994 to Allen Park.

So, it has been.... oh.... 9 years.

So there I am. Alot of familiar faces.... and familiar glances. I am having problems matching faces to names. Most people looked different, a few the same.

It was a bit surreal until I started to talk to some of the people I knew. Perhaps I know them again.

...

I spent alot of time resenting where I grew up, as well as Allen Park. River Rouge is night and day to Allen Park. Whereas the majority of Allen Park is snobby, preppy... white-collar, caucasian yuppie posers, Rouge is more down-to-earth, working class, blue collar, more ethnically-diverse people. They live for these kinds of get-togethers.

My point.

Well... it was nice to go back to my roots. I have always considered myself a hybrid of the two cities. Well... the better part of both. I don't really mean to come down on either cities... But I have taken what I need from both of them.

Anyway.... Among other people, I ran into a girl who I "dated" back when I was like 14? I was a child then... so I doubt that it counts. Anyway her name is mollie simon (sp?)... and I almost fell over. She is beautiful. I was taken aback for a second... really. We talked for a while... and she seemed pretty laid back. Easy to talk to.

I ended up giving her my number. If she calls, she calls... but I am not counting on it. I think that she has a bf (wasn't discussed much)... so I am not going to get myself into another situation like that.

Before I left I talked to another one of my old acquaintances... Don Dupie or "Doop". He was in the band that played that night "West Jefferson" - (The main street in Rouge)... they were pretty good. Anyway he talked to me for a good 20 minutes about the whole EMT thing... and gave me some pointers. I got his number in case I have some questions in the future. So all in all it worked out pretty well.
...

Sunday morning I went out to breakfast with Liz... someone I hadn't seen in years. I am not sure how it went. Liz is just another example of someone's life that has no place for me within it. On the same note, I don't know if there is a place for her in mine. People grow older, grow apart. We are just not the same people that we were a few years ago.

Sunday night we ended early.... so I up and decided to go back up to Rouge days. I would be lying if I said it wasn't to see Mollie again - which I did. However this time I barely talked to her. Didn't want to give to much attention.

...

So it was a pretty decent weekend... and I have to go to school tomorrow... and a short work week. All is good.

Here is to ambition, also known as hope

---> posted by deaDpixeL @ 9:54 PM [ comment.]